What do we (think we) have in common?

The people we know are usually people with whom we have something in common (“birds of a feather”).  We’re related through family, geography, community, professional and personal interests – hobbies, sports, music, arts, networking, or social causes.

Occasionally, though, we discover a more profound psychic connection, beyond the obvious, with a particular individual.

We now see, retrospectively, that when we initially met this person, our invisible antennas picked up deeper links between us that we only now understand. The connections may no longer work and we have moved on, or they are stronger and more constructive than ever before.

Recently, a colleague told me that she was upset by a long-time friend’s comments and behavior toward her. Then she stepped back and said, “but I have to remind myself of the personality traits and interests we share and decide if the good still outweighs the negative. Or, I guess I have to communicate with her in ways I haven’t done before.”

Coincidentally, I bumped into a former professional colleague who I had not seen in many years. We caught up, discovering things we had never known about each other, and now realized that we would probably be working together again. Sometimes, you never know.

We are all involved in first person PR even when we don’t want to be. We can’t really do it alone because, as we evolve and mature, the process requires others. Projecting a positive persona or image means effectively communicating – one-on-one and in groups. Despite our best efforts, we don’t always know the results as soon as we would like to…even given today’s SEO?!

More about you, the messages we exchange, and the people we hope to know better…next time.

Sally

Because it’s that time of year when we’re getting together for holiday celebrations or work-related parties, I thought about our conversations – the ones we have and the ones we wish we had.

We’re always conversing – small talk or deeper communication – whether hanging out at the ball game, having dinner with family or friends, discussing business with colleagues, or sweating through a job interview (yes, an interview is a conversation). Sometimes, depending on your expectations, the conversations are rewarding, sometimes they are disappointing, and sometimes the conversation doesn’t happen even when you had planned for it.  

Improve Your Communication Skills, a very informative book by Alan Barker, offers important insights and guidelines about conversation and 1^st person PR. As I mentioned in my first blog post, the goal of communication is to establish common ground. Or, as Barker explains, “communication is the process of creating shared understanding.” The heart of communication, he notes, is the conversation, which helps us build relationships with other people.

Barker discusses talking v. listening, determining and respecting each other’s perspectives, and establishing a relationship even when we don’t agree on everything. His “ways to improve your conversation” are on-target approaches that lead to chapters on persuasion, interviewing, writing and presentations.

In learning more about effective conversation, we do, of course, learn more about ourselves and our potential.

Relishing (or nervous about) the holiday season? Facing economic challenges? Wondering about some of your personal or professional relationships? Wouldn’t  meaningful communication – a real conversation – with someone you know or would like to know better help?

If so, a rewarding conversation could be a great holiday gift or a New Year’s resolution.

Let’s communicate.

Sally Chapralis